Sister, lover, French major, radical birth doula/labor assistant, feminist, pagan, anti-oppression, queer, polyamorous, French Canadian, Hufflepuff, in love with pizza and my cat.
I like to talk about most things, so don't be shy!
Anonymous asked: hey i came out to my parents about dating girls years ago. but now i'm with a trans guy and my dad is not the most progressive thinker. any suggestions on how to talk to him about it?
This question may or may not be better answered by a trans guy, but I’ll give it a shot! First of all, does your partner WANT to be out as trans to your dad? That’s the most important question. Since it’s his identity, he should be comfortable with it and aware that you’re going to be talking about it. He might just prefer that you tell your parents you’re dating a guy (which you are) and not explain any trans stuff. If your partner is comfortable with it, you should ask if there is any specific language he is most comfortable with you using. If your partner wants you to tell your father in a certain way, do that.
In the event that it’s totally up to you, here’s a PFLAG document on coming out as trans* to your family. It’s mostly for folks who are telling their own parents that they are trans, but you might find some of the language helpful. If your dad is willing to do some reading, here’s a pretty inclusive Trans 101 page that gently dispels some misconceptions while doing a good job at educating about the transgender umbrella. If you’ve come out to your dad before, he should have a pretty good idea on how to navigate this kind of thing. If he doesn’t react well, be sure to emphasize that you are in a happy, healthy, caring relationship, which is really all a parent can hope for! If you think he might react violently or that it would no longer be a safe environment for you, please weigh the pros and cons of having this conversation. If you decide to have it, try to organize an “escape plan” before you begin - have a trusted friend on speed dial who can pick you up quickly and provide you with a safe place to sit until things calm down.
Let me know if there is anything I didn’t touch on! Good luck!
“Those who subvert social norms are, ostensibly, people who have forgotten that they can be seen, publicly, at any time. Therefore, when they transgress social norms—by expressing physical affection for a person not visibly coded as the opposite sex, for example, or by being fat and rejecting social and bodily invisibility—they need to be reminded of this omniscient social gaze, and in the absence of institutional discipline, must be punished so they do not transgress again. This is the mechanism by which a dude who sees me in a vividly-colored dress, walking alone as though I either don’t know or don’t care that I am defying bodily norms, feels compelled to scream “UGLY FAT BITCH” at me. He is applying social discipline and teaching me a lesson: Everyone can see you, and your body and/or behavior are unacceptable.”
Omg. How did I miss this in the previous years? DOROTHY ALLISON!? And Jewel Gomez? Damn. I’m super excited to know about it now though. Ahhhhh so excited. I’m going to try and volunteer as soon as they have the form up, since I can take megabus up there for super cheap from RVA.
So who’s going? Letz get a room, y’all, cause i’m poor and $100/night is too fuckin much for me.
After being called out by many, many people about this May Day banner, all I’ve heard from fellow white activists are excuses and confusion as to why people are upset (among a very small number of apologies). If folks are confused about why the banner wasn’t acceptable, the answers are right in front of us. It doesn’t matter that the folks in the picture (who are friends of mine) are good people, or that the intention behind the banner was to highlight the intersections among queer undocumented folks. The fact is that the moment the picture was taken, it was being held by white folks, and it doesn’t actually say anything about undocumented people.
Basically what I’m saying is this: if you don’t understand the problem with the banner, just read the words of the people of color who are speaking against it. That’s all. We don’t need to take their anger and turn it into a “theoretical” debate about who can say what when and act like we know anything about their oppressions, because we don’t. We cannot compare white queerness to being undocumented. I understand that it wasn’t the intention when the banner was being made - I was there, I got it, but not everyone was and the photo is pretty dang incriminating. Intention is irrelevant when there are folks who are directly affected by these issues telling us it is NOT OKAY. So that’s it. The end. We screwed up, so we apologize and we don’t do it again and we move on.
Scout and I are getting ready for a photoshoot for a friend’s project on queer folks and their pets, which is good because my hair is just too good to miss today.
Hi! I just started a tumblr, the Transgender Couchsurfing Network. After seeing dozens of posts come across my dash about displaced or homeless trans people needing places to crash, I decided that there had to be a way to organize these posts somehow, and to put those in need in contact with those willing to lend a hand. If you’re trans and need a place to stay, or if you have a couch or floor or spare bedroom available for someone in need, I urge you to reblog this post, follow the blog, and get the word out. Everything is still under heavy construction, but the more people that see and hear about this blog, the more people will be able to benefit from it! I know that there are so many people here on tumblr who are in need of a place to stay for a night or two, and I also know how many amazing, wonderful people would be willing to host someone and help out a trans person in need. We all know what a huge problem unemployment and homelessness are for trans people (especially TPOC and trans women) — even a place to stay for a night can make the biggest difference! So PLEASE, even if you can’t offer up your couch, REBLOG AND SIGNAL BOOST. I really, really think that this is something that could help a lot of people, and I would LOVE to see this spammed all over my dash and the dashes of all of my lovely followers!!
lgbtqia picnic in the park with banner-making for the queer block at the mayday parade, yummy vegan food shared with richmond food not bombs, and conversations about being queer in the workplace (“workplace” being defined very loosely)…if you’re in richmond, you should come out to monroe park this afternoon!
meticulously monitoring my baby thyme plants for signs of death
studying studying studying in preparation for going on call next week (!!!)
making a list of things that I can realistically get between now and then for my doula bag
meeting with Jessica to talk about everything/be a couple of cuties
