“A lot of people don’t heal [from trauma], and it manifests in a lot of different ways throughout their lives. There’s a study they did with Vietnam vets who’d had—clearly—a lot of trauma during the war. Twenty years later, they measured their levels of pain before and after they showed them intense footage from Vietnam. Pretty much across the board, after they saw this really intense, violent footage from the war, their levels of pain went down. Because when trauma doesn’t get to work itself through your system, your system idles at a heightened state, and so getting more really intense input calms your system down….A lot of folks who’ve survived trauma end up being really calm in crisis and freaking out in everyday life.”

—

Meredith Broome (via kathrynincalgary)

Woah.

(via nicoleissassy)

•  15 May 2012  •  1,040 notes

Alright, today, here’s the deal: gonna go out in my favorite dress, gonna wear my favorite shoes. Gonna use all that gold and black glitter eyeliner I got at Hot Topic yesterday because  Hot Topic eyeliner is better than anything else ever. Gonna pack under my dress like a boss. Gonna go to Crossroads and journal about missing people, then have a much-needed chat with Clementine. Gonna eat at least one full meal. Gonna start on my doula class because the check cleared today and at least there’s that. Not gonna apologize for publicizing everything I’m doing today because dang it I need to remember how to deal with these moods.

•  13 April 2012  •  21 notes

thatqueergirlandhersunflowers:

thevanishingofme:

HAPPY NATIONAL EATING DISORDER AWARENESS WEEK, EVERYONE! :)

 

      ‎- Approximately 1 in 200 people have either anorexia or bulimia. 10% of these cases are males.

- Eating disorders are DISEASES not DIETS.

- Anorexia will kill as many as 1 in 5 of its victims.

- Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

- Per sufferer, only $1.50 is spent annually on eating disorder research efforts, compared to the $170 spent per sufferer on mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s.

- 50% of American’s personally know somebody who has struggled with an eating disorder.

- Eating disorders don’t discriminate. They affect people of all races, religions, ages,cultures, and economic classes.

- Only 30% of those diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia will ever fully recover. It is a life-long battle for most.

- Only about 1/3 of those with even the most severe of eating disorders are actuallyunderweight. People with bulimia are often a healthy weight and can even be overweight.

- No, they can’t “just eat.”

- At their roots, eating disorders are never about weight or food. Binging, purging, restricting, etc. are merely symptoms of the underlying disease.

- Infertility; osteoporosis; organ failure; heart failure; hair loss; dry, grey/yellow skin; brain damage; seizures; tooth decay and loss; esophageal or gastric rupture; laxative dependency; loss of bowel control; vision/hearing loss; malnutrition; extreme dehydration; black outs and fainting; paralysis; coma; and death… These are just a few of the (sometimes irreversible) physical consequences of anorexia and bulimia. Still glamorous?

- People seem to think that anorexia takes such great will power. They are wrong. Self-starvation does not take will power, it takes self-hatred.

- For more information, visit nationaleatingdisorders.org.

I know I’m a bit late in this, but this is important. 

•  29 February 2012  •  1,828 notes

“Fat people who love themselves scare the shit out of people who don’t love themselves. Even fat people who are TRYING to love themselves scare the shit out of people who can’t do the same. We force people to have to look at why they hate their bodies because we are “supposed” to hate ours and we don’t. And sometimes they have no idea what to do with that, so they act like assholes.”

—

Tigress Osborn (via erinkyan)

dear fat-shamers, sorry your self esteem sucks, but don’t take it out on fat people.

(via danhelldanger)

(via cunthulhu)

•  22 February 2012  •  7,921 notes

“Of course, this is one of the profound ways in which oppression works—to mire us in body hatred. Homophobia is all about defining queer bodies as wrong, perverse, immoral. Transphobia, about defining trans bodies as unnatural, monstrous, or the product of delusion. Ableism, about defining disabled bodies as broken and tragic. Class warfare, about defining the bodies of workers as expendable. Racism, about defining the bodies of people of color as primitive, exotic, or worthless. Sexism, about defining female bodies as pliable objects. These messages sink beneath our skin.”

— Eli Clare, “Stolen Bodies, Reclaimed Bodies”  (via thenewwomensmovement)

(via lipsbetweenthehips)

•  12 February 2012  •  1,859 notes

I just got a question from someone and I wanted to publish the interaction in the hopes that maybe it could be of help to other people? I have permission, of course.

Q: Help, I just binged. A lot. And my weight is really high right now but I can’t purge due to the fact that I got my wisdom teeth removed.

A: First, sit down and make yourself very comfortable. Wrap up in a blanket, put on some music. It could even help to lay down - I find that usually helps me feel less full. Physical comfort should come first right now, as much as it possibly can. The hardest thing for me a lot of the time is convincing myself that I even deserve to be comfortable. In the moment, it can seem close to logical that purging is the only real option. Just remember that it’s not, and you have all of the strength to resist that. You do.

Second, have you ever sat down and made a list of things you could do instead of purging? If so, pick a few things from the list and do them. Journal if that helps. If you feel like you need some sort of physical release, I would suggest doing something that brings some sensation but doesn’t actually hurt you. Holding ice cubes, clapping, running something rough like sandpaper or velcro over your skin (obviously without breaking skin - I’m certainly not advocating self-injury in place of purging). If you’re comfortable with or interested in meditation, I find that usually helps me to be present in my body (which I never am during intense bouts of dysphoria after I eat). Here’s a basic meditation that may help you to calm down, come back to your body, and even feel less full. 

Here is the hard part: negotiating the fact that you’ve eaten this food and it’s in your body. That can be one of the most powerful feelings of guilt and sadness, I know. Remind yourself that whatever you’ve just eaten, in whatever quantity, probably has some nutritional value. Let the negative thoughts arise and then push them to the side, and concentrate on the good things in the food doing good things for the body. Did what you eat contain iron or vitamin C or thiamin? Good! Your body loves those and deserves them, and you deserve to know that you’ve done something positive and worthwhile for yourself.

In terms of weight gain, a binge without purging is not going to make you gain weight. In fact, it’s a part of normal, healthy eating! I will tell you right now that gaining weight was one of the most powerfully positive things that has happened to me. It is a sign of recovery and health, as much as disordered thinking would have you believe it is equal to weakness or failure. You are not a failure. You are certainly not weak. Reaching out for help and community is a very good sign that you’re on top of this.

Anyway, I hope this helps, at least a little. If there’s anything else you want to ask or if you just want to keep talking, I’m here. Don’t hesitate! 

•  28 January 2012  •  7 notes

iamwhoiamandidontgiveadamn:

If people could signal boost this I would really appreciate it.

As I have come to love and accept my body after 7 years of disordered eating habits, I have started turning more and more to the body acceptance/fat acceptance community.

And while I love the things I see, and find them informative and uplifting, I dont often see posts about body acceptance in the face of/while recovering from an eating disorder.  Especially restrictive disorders.

Id like to do a small-med zine on learning to love and accept your body after years of loathing and abusing it.  It can be really hard. 

I would really like to get quotes and personal experience stories from people who have recovered, or are in recovery to add to the zine.  Anything that has helped you learn to accept and love yourself and your body, problems with it you have overcome, or just stories of why you find it hard but still have hope.  Credit of course will be given (unless you specifically state that you would like to remain anonymous).

Please send any thing you would like to contribute to this tumblr, or to my email, wanderingxwondering@yahoo.com, with “body love zine” in the header. 

Id like to have the zine put together and ready to distro within the next 2 months. 

thanks everyone,

Gryff

I will make myself write something for this if it is the last thing I do.

(via youarenotyou-deactivated2012022)

•  17 January 2012  •  83 notes

verybusyandimportant:

fromonesurvivortoanother:

[image description: series of photos of a person holding signs: Relapse is a part of… / recovery . you are not… / a failure. / Keep moving forward. / You can do this.]

oh hey crying at work how awkward.

thanks for reblogging this, fuck yeah self care, and letting me see it. I needed it.

(Source: toohelpsavealife)

•  13 January 2012  •  14,038 notes

vikkiage:

Can there be like a Tumblr Fat-People-Who-Had-Eating-Disorders-And-Are-Willing-To-Talk-About-It Action Team and like whenever someone says “but thin people have it just as bad; sometimes they suggest that I have an eating disorder” we jump into our superhero costumes and explain how fucking offensive and trivializing and absurd that is to say to a fat person? 

Like um do you want to read hundreds of accounts of fat people with serious eating disorders who went to the doctor only to be turned away because their problems couldn’t possibly be real because they were fat?

Do you want to read endless accounts of parents and siblings and partners and friends actively supporting our eating disorders just because we were/are fat?

Or maybe there are some records of infinite doctors who suggested eating disordered behavior as treatment to fat folks?

Or like, IDK, do you want to hear about how I did incredibly dangerous things to my body because I knew I could get away with it, because even though I was making myself horrifically ill as long as people saw that I was getting thinner they’d congratulate me? And how this is all-too-fucking common for fat folks with eating disorders?

Srsly, what will it take to make you realize how much of a fucking asshole you’re being?

When you compare horrible medical discrimination, rampant hatred and stigmatization and a society that actively supports eating disorders for fat people, and you have the fucking nerve to say “someone accused me of having an eating disorder” when fat people are talking about their experiences, you are trivializing our experiences and our illnesses and our disorders. Trivializing fat folks’ experience is exactly what perpetuates the above scenarios. You are part of the fucking problem.

Hi, I fully support this action team.

(Source: vikkiisagenderneutralname, via youarenotyou-deactivated2012022)

•  8 January 2012  •  97 notes

Personal ramblings ahead. Trigger warning for talk of depression, eating disorders.

I am trying to praise myself for the little things - getting out of bed early, doing housework or homework, interacting with anyone other the people I see every day. I am not what you’d call functional right now, and it’s so easy to fall back into moping because I’m not the picture of health or success, but I have to celebrate the small victories and good moods if I have any hope of getting through this strange, stagnant period of time. Every stressful thing in my life seems to be descending upon me all at once - mostly money/job worries, but also family, school, friendships, health. I have suspected for quite a while that I might be depressed, and the signs are pointing more and more toward yes. That in combination with the fact that I have zero energy or willpower to do anything ever. I want to be a housewife in a big, queer house with all of my friends and spend the day cleaning and writing and cooking and laughing and creating comfortable space for the people I love. Alas, that doesn’t pay and no one is going to house me in exchange for domestic service (and probably sex, let’s not pretend). I don’t know. I’m just trying to be kind to myself. In the past, it’s been incredibly easy for me to say terrible things to myself and repeat them until I was convinced they were true and permanent facets of my personality (which leads to scary situations in which I am triggered and rationalizing the thought that relapsing would make my life better). But I’m learning that those things are untrue, that the effect these stressors have on me doesn’t reflect upon me as a person. I’m a fucking fantastic person and I know this and I know people love me because of it. Beating myself up over money issues isn’t going to make the problem go away, but it will make me unhappy in the process. I have to learn this and memorize it and repeat it like a mantra every time I sit down and start thinking too much.

•  30 November 2011  •  4 notes